Social Penetration Theory by Irwin Altman and Dalmas Taylor

This theory talks about the process of knowing someone. This can also be seen as how a relationship grows and possibly blossom into connection with each other.

Altman and Taylor use an onion to illustrate a person’s complexity. Like an onion, people are multi-layered. Through sharing and disclosure we slowly get to know someone and its like carefully peeling an onion of its layers. Then when we get to the core of someone, is when we truly know the person for who they are. This is when closeness is achieved.

There are many layers that comprise a person. First is the biological data; these are things like their appearance, name, and age. These are basic information about a person that can easily be known. Next are preferences; these are the things one would know after some time, like what someone would like. Then there are things that one would only share with some people which are their goals and aspirations in life. After that there are their beliefs and convictions that they uphold. Then there are the closely guarded secrets that one would rarely or totally avoid of speaking of. Last is the most important part, which may not even be known by the person themselves, is the concept of self.

There’s a certain process that friends undergo to fully know one another. It begins by basic information being exchanged; like ‘Hi I’m…’ This is followed by the other person’s reciprocation or ‘Hello, nice to meet you, I’m…’ It’s already established that communication is a two way road and can only be successful when the other replies. Oddly enough, this kind of growth is like a growing child. Its rapid at first then it slows down. The relationship will find itself in a comfort zone and could possibly go stagnant if neither of the people involved is interested.

Though the relationship has already started, both still have a choice to continue its growth or not. In this sensitive situation, one or both gauge their relationship and could categorize it in cost and rewards. If people are not careful with the information disclosed someone else, that someone could see their relationship with them as more of a hinder than a help. This is called comparison level.

But if the people involved do chose to continue the relationship, it still won’t be as fast as it started. It will slow down and disclosure could come fewer and far between.

Another theory, Communication Privacy Management theory, can be connected to SPT. This concerns how properly disclosure should be handled. As stated before, disclosure comes as the relationship grows and trust is built. With these disclosures, comes the responsibility of knowing them.

This in turn is connected to another topic of boundaries between people. ‘Boundary Coordination Linkage’, concerns two important things; people’s personal boundary from other’s and their link that breeches their own boundary towards others. First is the Boundary Linkage or strength of the relationship, Boundary Ownership which is the responsibility of the disclosure, Boundary Permeability or level of privacy one has. All effects the relationship who exchanged disclosures.